Obviously, I'm not springing a FS life on her (she is, and has been, very supportive). But the potential and the reality of FS life are very different things. Given that her firm has offices in DC, as well as offices worldwide, there is a slight hope that she might be able to continue working for her firm either in different offices, if possible, or by telecommuting. The likelihood of that, not to mention the sustainability, is rather low.
The AAFSW website devotes serious attention to the work (or lack of work) issues that my wife may one day face. And a recent post by Diplopundit links to the State Department's Expanded Professional Associates Program, which is designed to provide Eligible Family Members with employment at post by filling unfilled positions (which, from the description, include FSO positions).
In our private discussions, we have talked about her continuing to apply for a FSO position; as well as to think about opportunities to either work with, or possibly start, a NGO. Alternatively, there is always the possibility of finding legal work in most countries, since American trained lawyers are valued (even in non-common law jurisdictions). Granted, these discussions might be worthless if I end up not receiving my clearances, failing final adjudication or dying on the register.
Regardless of our fortunes on the FSO trail, thinking of these issues makes me respect all the trailing spouses out there; particularly the ones that left careers behind. I think State should be providing annual awards to you men and women, too.
4 comments:
Hello,
I found a link to your blog from Where in the World's blog and I read this entry of yours and will try to be helpful with my own response to you.
I am a "trailing spouse" of a State employee and I formerly worked as a paralegal in the legal field.
I am only at our first post, and it is domestic, but I can give you my two cents, for what they are worth.
On one hand, should you accept a position with State, the very best thing for your family to do is have your wife 100% accept that she may not have a job at your posts. That is NOT to say that she will NEVER have a job at your post, but it is quite possible that she may not and may never, and so accepting it is key. From there, you both can tell yourselves that getting a job at post would be a nice surprise, rather than a likelihood.
At any given time, something like 65% of all State spouses want a job at post, and something like 28% have one. Most jobs at post are paperworky in nature, and from what I understand, most jobs at post aren't even discussed with your wife until you are paneled there.
Your wife is brilliant, talented, and educated to the nines. She will have to change completely - possibly being "only" a trailing wife to you. Might she end up working at post? Perhaps.
You mentioned working in the local economy, but even working in the local economy is often extremely difficult. She may not be able to get a work permit/ the country may not allow her to/ the climate of the country may not allow her to.
And please don't forget that you are at post only for short times, comparatively. Being at post for only a couple of years (or less) may not allow your wife the time needed to develop a job in the local economy, even if work permits and the local climate allow her to. And also.. sometimes posts are evacuated. Sometimes assignments are curtailed. Etc.
On the other hand, and I know nothing of you guys, but in our family we have always felt that there is nothing more important than a husband loving his job. My husband LOVES LOVES LOVES his job, and State is a fabulous employer. We are beyond thrilled with our opportunities, and I do not look back and wish for our past life.
Even if your wife doesn't have "a job" at post, there are many, many things your wife can do. While you guys are getting ready to go to post, your wife can take the language classes right along with you. She can become fluent in the nation's language. Wives often develop their other interests, such as writing or photography. Jobs that can be done online are often very successfully kept, however, be aware that internet can be very spotty at many posts, and that a vast majority of posts are in underdeveloped areas.
"Tandem" couples are often the most successful in keeping the wife employed. Should you choose a job with State, having your wife also try to become an FSO so that you can be "tandem" would be a great match. However, sometimes tandem couples are separated (needs of the service) and sometimes the opportunities of one spouse may not be as advantageous to the other spouse. (Translation: sometimes one spouse's career is furthered in a tandem posting more than the other's.)
Also, if you are all the way through with the hiring process and then your wife enters it, you will be through training and at an overseas post while your wife is trying to begin her own hiring process. I'm not sure how this would work, as my own husband isn't an FSO and I'm not trying to go tandem, but it sounds to me like it would present some logistical difficulties for the family.
But again, my husband and I are beside ourselves with joy that he got/has this job, and we are very, very excited about our future postings and opportunities. However, on the other hand, I'm a homeschooling, stay-at-home mom to two boys, so being a "trailing spouse" didn't ask me to sacrifice much at all.
Hope some of this helps. Blessings to you both!
A Daring Adventure-
Thanks so much for your perspective. It's nice to hear from someone who is in the situation, rather than just reading State's materails containing lots of "possibly" and "should" and "maybe." I have to say that what you describe, especially your employment to openings numbers, don't make being a trailing spouse terribly appealing. It's something we continue to discuss; being an FSO has been FSOWannabe's dream for a very long time, but I have to say that being a trailing spouse isn't exactly my dream! Anyway, lots to consider. Thank you!
-Mrs. FSOWannabe
The first comment was excellent, but I just want to add a bit as a spouse who has worked overseas, both at the Embassy and on the local economy. I have been a trailing spouse for 12 years in April, and if nothing else, it has been an eye-opening experience.
I went into the whole experience thinking that I would have employment at every post. Despite the fact that I had stayed home for a year with my (then only) daughter, I figured we would hire a nanny/maid, I would get a job and that would be that.
Eventually, I was hired, but was astounded at the stiff competition for jobs such as newsletter editor or CLO. I ended up doing both, and despite my worries, greatly enjoyed both jobs. I know they are not always highly regarded, but sometimes a job is what you make of it.
We then had three years back in the States, and working was not an option, unless I wanted zero time with my kids. My husband is with DSS and traveled constantly and worked shifts that changed every two weeks.
We moved overseas again, and employment at the new post was virtually non-existent. Understandable for the post, but I needed and wanted to work.
I started by volunteering at my daughter's school. Worked on their website, general editing for publications, and worked my way into teaching an ESL class. I was then asked to teach a local preschool ESL class. Pay? Well, probably not enough for a day's worth of groceries. The reward? The kids were incredible, and the parent comments at the end of the year floored me. It was an experience I will never forget.
Eventually, I was able to get a work permit (first U.S. diplomat to do so in that country). I worked for 5 months before resigning to take time off for the birth of my 3rd child. While in the process of getting my work permit, I realized that despite all of the negatives one hears about spousal employment in the FS, I was really quite lucky. Without the help of HR at the Embassy, I would have never been able to work on the local economy.
I realize my experiences are quite different (in every respect), but just wanted to offer that it is not all as bleak as it may seem. My life is not necessarily what I thought it would be, but I would not trade the experiences we have had for the world.
Good luck with everything!
~Jen
This is a favorite topic among us single ladies in the Foreign Service, as many of us fear we will never be able to coax the educated men in our lives to follow US to post. If your wife is creative, and not necessarily committed 100% to using the law degree, I am sure she can find meaningful work with humanitarian organizations, media outlets, or even multinational corporations.
I'm not sure if she'd ever be interested in being part of a tandem couple, but I have also come across a few "Regional Legal Advisor" positions at USAID missions overseas. Sometimes they are even offered as "Personal Services Contracts" on a temporary (a few years, usually) basis.
Good luck!
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